There are a number of excuses for behavior that people use to somehow justify their poor quality of life. It is helpful to learn to dismiss such explanations, even in private with yourself. The explanations are as follows: “it’s a habit,” “that’s how I was taught as a child, I’m just imitating,” and explanations in the spirit of quantitative change. They make no sense at all.
Different Arts Of Self-Excuses
First, let’s deal with the tool for classifying explanations. It is important to test any explanation. This can be done by seeing if it works in other situations. If Fyokla’s leg hurts and she explains it by hitting a dresser, it’s very easy to think of a way to falsify it. She needs to bump her other foot and observe if she gets sick. Sick? So, yes, her explanation could be true.
Now with behavioral explanations. Can a person do or not do something out of habit? Certainly he can. By inertia of thought? Because he has seen it in his family? Yes. But can his habitual action or inaction happen apart from his will? No. I mean, yes, but that’s the psychotic register. We have many habits in our lives, and we break them very easily and quickly, and we even forget that they exist. The point is, we get used to a good thing very quickly. It means, it is easier to get used to more nice things (for example, betting on 20Bet App). “Habit” somehow works selectively, so it’s not about habit, it’s about whether or not a person decides to act habitually.
Let’s talk about upbringing. How many explanations can you hear that “my father used to blow money on bets, I got it from him” or “my mother taught me not to love anyone and to look for a husband of those who would love me.” Delightful. It’s very amusing to watch a man whose parents, of course, raised him to do his homework, brush his teeth, not do drugs, not have sex with anyone, not cross a red light, and so on, tell us that out of the whole spectrum of parental instruction or behavior, he chose exactly to blow money as a father or advice not to open up to others. These are the very things that somehow stuck, and the others somehow didn’t. There’s this idea that if a person chose one thing out of all the behaviors of his parents, it’s probably not about the parents. He wanted to choose that particular thing, reproduce it, and cover himself with similar explanations.
Finally, about quantitative explanations. I’ve written a text about this before. In a nutshell: Quantitative changes lead only to quantitative consequences. Events like: Petya smoked less because he was less nervous; Fyokla found a boyfriend because she started dating more; cannot happen only in quantities less or more. Qualitative changes happen for qualitative reasons. Petya started smoking less, not just because he was less nervous, but because he learned how to fight anxiety, and Fyokla found a boyfriend because she stopped being quiet on dates.
Which self-excuses are better
So what kind of explanations are better? Those that answer the question of what benefit the behavior brings. By benefit is meant either the satisfaction of needs or the reduction of suffering. Immediately you can see what the benefits and benefits of these behavioral strategies are.